By Narayan Prasad Mishra
We observe our lives from childhood. We witness the cycle of birth and death throughout our lives—we see newborns arriving and others departing. Yet, we hardly understand the problems, conditions, thoughts, and states of mind of people at different stages of life until we reach the same age ourselves. This is human nature.
Especially when we are young, strong, healthy, and robust, we rarely think that one day we, too, will be old and weak. One day, we may find ourselves alone and in despair. Despite loving our elderly family members deeply and without bounds, we often fail to give them the attention they truly deserve. This is not due to a lack of love but rather a lack of realization and understanding—a form of ignorance that stems from our inexperience.
One day, we reach retirement age and stay home. Eventually, we grow even older—weak and feeble, burdened by health problems. Our physical condition and appearance change completely. Our legs lose their strength, making it difficult to stand or walk, and our eyesight fades. Appetite diminishes, and illness becomes a constant companion, often making us feel that death might be preferable to prolonged suffering. In time, we may even become unrecognizable in our own locality and neighborhood as the world moves on without us.
We lose touch with friends and neighbors. Not only that, but we also enter a stage of life where most of our senior family members and relatives—our parents, uncles, aunts, siblings, and lifelong friends—have passed away. We begin to see our contemporaries, both older and younger than ourselves, leaving this world. In such moments, we find ourselves without companionship, alone and in despair. Thinking about all these things, once, I wrote a poem in Nepali titled (जीवनको लीला Jeevan ko Leela) Destiny Unveiled. The poem is given below in Nepali and English translation but not word by word.
जीवनको लीला
नारायण प्रसाद मिश्र
भोलि भोलि भन्दा भन्दै
जीवन त्यसै बित्यो
काला काला कपाल मेरो
सेताम्य भै फुल्यो
सेता सेता कपाल मेरो
तावा झैं खुइलियो
हृष्टपुष्ट गाला मेरो
भोगटे झैं सुक्यो
सबै मेरा हातखुट्टा
आज भयो बेकाम
आफैलाई आफू लाग्ने
अब छैन काम
आँखा मेरो धमिलियो
छैन कान तीखो
मैले बोल्दा अरुलाई
लाग्ने भयो रुक्खो
हातखुट्टा दाँत आदि
कुनै छैन सद्दे
हिंड्न खोज्दा लड्खडाउने
खुट्टा भयो लडने
श्रव्य दृश्य पाचन शक्ति
छैन अब जिउमा
रस रङ्ग जीवनको
केही छैन मनमा
सोचेकै थिइन कहिल्यै मैले
एकदिन हुन्छु यस्तो
आज मलाई लाग्न थाल्यो
म भएछु कस्तो
न छन् बाँकी दाजुभाइ
न छन् साथी भाइ
न छन इष्ट मित्र मेरो
न छन् शत्रु कोही
आफ्नै ठाउँमा चिनापर्ची
छैन मेरो अब
यताउता घुम्दा सोध्छन्
कोहो? हजुर सब
जिन्दगीको नियति हो
अस्ताउने बेला
यस्तै हुन्छ सबै कुरा
जीवनको यो लीला
Destiny Unveiled
Narayan Prasad Mishra
Tomorrow, we whisper, and tomorrow fades,
Life’s fleeting moments swiftly cascade.
My once-black locks turned white, they say,
Youthful vigor now ebbs away.
Gone are the days of plump cheeks,
Now shriveled, like a grapefruit meek.
Limbs once strong now falter and fail,
Life’s vigor is now a distant tale.
Eyes once keen, now blurred with age,
Ears, once sharp, now silence engage.
Words spoken lack their former grace,
In ageing limbs, a steady pace.
With each passing day, strength wanes,
No longer free from life’s cruel strains.
Gone is the zest, the joy, the thrill,
Replaced by a sense of time standing still.
Who could have foreseen this fate?
Life’s cruel twist, a sobering debate.
Brothers, sisters, friends all gone,
Left alone to ponder and mourn.
No longer recognized in my own street,
Faces once familiar are now discreet.
This is the destiny, life’s solemn strife,
In old age, the great equalizer of life.
It is then that we reflect on our past—the innocence of childhood, the energy of youth, the responsibilities of the working years, and the transition into retirement. We evaluate our lives—our weaknesses, mistakes, faults, successes, failures, negligence, and ignorance. For many, old age is not just a time of hardship but a period of profound reflection on a lifetime of experiences.
I am in my eighties. When I was young and working in government offices and later at Tribhuvan University, my parents were still alive in their eighties. My late beloved wife Shanti Mishra and I both did our best to care for them as we were entirely loving, and we had a nature of caring. Now, I have lost even my beloved wife, who was my soul and life. I am living as if without any charm of living without her. However, now that I have reached this stage of life myself, I often feel that I could have done much more for my parent. At the time, I lacked the understanding of old age that I have now. I regret that. When I reflect on my past and think about my care and attention toward my elders, I realize that I could have done more for them than I did. Similarly, I recognize the many instances of my ignorance and weaknesses in my past actions and roles.
Ageing is an inevitable part of life. While some elderly individuals enjoy a comfortable and dignified retirement, many others struggle with financial difficulties, declining health, loneliness, and a lack of societal support. The hard life that accompanies old age often results from inadequate preparation, economic struggles, and societal shifts that sometimes neglect older people.
A Picture of Older People in Nepal
One of the most significant hardships of old age is declining health, with some exceptional. As the body ages, it becomes more susceptible to diseases such as arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular issues, and cognitive decline. The need for medical care increases, yet access to quality healthcare is often a challenge, especially for those with limited financial means. Many elderly individuals find it difficult to afford necessary treatments, medications, or even basic medical check-ups, making their daily lives a constant battle against pain and discomfort.
Financial security is another major concern for older people. In many societies, retirement savings are insufficient and do not always cover the rising cost of living. For those who have worked in informal sectors or low-paying jobs, old age can bring severe financial insecurity. Many older people are forced to continue working beyond their physical capacity or depend on their children and relatives, which can sometimes lead to feelings of humiliation and helplessness.
Loneliness is a silent but painful struggle for many older adults. As children grow up and move away to pursue their own lives, elderly parents often find themselves alone. Friends of the same age pass away, and social circles shrink, leading to isolation. In societies where traditional family structures are breaking down, older people often feel neglected and abandoned. This loneliness can contribute to depression, anxiety, and a decline in overall well-being.
In many cultures, older people were once seen as the keepers of wisdom and experience, respected for their knowledge and contributions. However, in today’s fast-paced world, where youth and productivity are often valued over experience, many elderly individuals feel disregarded and unappreciated. They may struggle with a sense of irrelevance as their opinions and skills are overlooked, making them feel like a burden rather than a valued part of society.
Despite these challenges, there are ways to make old age more bearable and fulfilling. Financial planning from an early stage can help ensure economic security in later years. Governments and societies must take responsibility for providing better healthcare and support systems for older people. Families should foster intergenerational bonds, ensuring that older members feel included and respected. Additionally, engaging in social activities, pursuing hobbies, and staying physically and mentally active can help elderly individuals maintain a sense of purpose and dignity.
Old age is a stage of life that should be lived with dignity, not hardship. While challenges such as health problems, financial difficulties, and loneliness are common, societies must work toward creating a more inclusive and supportive environment for older people. A compassionate approach, better policies, and strong family bonds can ensure that ageing is not a burden but a phase of life where individuals continue to feel valued, respected and cared for.
More importantly, in our cultural context, family members should be well aware of the emotional state of older people—the loneliness and despair they experience. Only with such awareness can we serve and support them in a meaningful and compassionate way.
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