(In her loving memory on the third death anniversary) 

By Narayan Prasad Mishra   Man and woman are like two wheels of a motorcycle or a bicycle. Without both, we cannot think of a family and society. We cannot think of our life and living. We cannot run our life from generation to generation. They both have equal roles to play in running our life. So both are equally important. But the men and women are not equally treated in most countries around the globe. In most cases, women are treated as inferior, suppressed, oppressed, and subjected to fewer opportunities and rights. They are given lower wages than men, even doing equal work. In some countries, men exploit women differently and force them to work from early morning to night without rest. In contrast, men stay idle by gossiping and playing cards - that situation we still see in some countries, especially in rural areas. As a result, we see women are less educated than men as they are not given equal opportunities to study. We see the same situation in our country. With the existing problem of women population of the world based on the situation mentioned above, the United Nations declared 1975 as the International Women's Year for giving special attention to the women's problem and work for the upliftment of women. Its main slogan was equality, development, and peace. To achieve the goals, the United Nations addressed all the member countries to celebrate the year 1975 as the International Women's Year (IWY) by forming a high-level committee under the patronage of the First Lady of the country. As we know, the UN celebrated 1974 as World Population Year, 1970 as the International Education Year, and 1968 as the International Year for Human Rights. According to the United Nations' decision as a member country, then King Birendra formed the high-level International Women's Year Committee Nepal, 1975, on Nov 7, 1974, under the patronage of Queen Aishwarya with Punya Prabha Devi Dhungana, as the Chairwoman (who was the President of Nepal Women's Organization at that time) and Shanti Mishra (the Chief Librarian, Tribhuvan University Central Library) as the Member Secretary to work for the upliftment of the Nepalese women for a whole year. Mishra was selected and nominated by the King as the member- secretary, the vital position to drive the women's affairs being close to the Queen even though she was not even a member of the then-existing Nepal Woman's Organization, the political wing of the Panchayat System and was not involved in any political work. That was done because there were two powerful factions in Nepal Woman's Organization - one led by Angur Baba Joshi and the other by Kamal Rana. Both the factions wanted to get the powerful vital position of the member-secretary for their group. There was a heavy tussle for that position. So the King had to find some independent, strong, competent, dynamic personality as the member-secretary who was out of that group to run the program efficiently by balancing both the rival groups. That was true and heard about when Mishra, the iron lady, the director, the Tribhuvan University Central Library chief, was assigned that job. Mishra who was a professor before becoming the Chief Librarian had a new opportunity to work for all the women of the country, which was so different from her university academic work. It was also a great challenge to succeed without the support of any woman group and leaders. More than that, it was a challenge to work by pleasing the Queen of the country according to the trust of the head of the country. But being a firm administrator, efficient manager and organizer, exemplary academician, and dedicated nation server who had created the nation's only organized modern library of the country, she could easily make the benefit programs for the overall development of the women to meet the goals of the Committee. The proverb says any successful organizer and manager of some field can undoubtedly be equally successful in other fields. In a perfect couple, the family as the husband and wife always helps and supports each other for any work or problem that falls upon them. I, as her husband, did my best to help her study, making programs behind the scenes. Queen Aishwarya had to deliver speeches to the programs organized by the IWY Committee in five Development Zones. Shanti was asked to submit drafts of the speeches from time to time by the Queen. I made the draft speeches with Shanti's consent in disguise. We were so happy when the speeches were accepted with some minor changes and later on when the great quotations of Queen Aishwarya (Mahanbani) were made based on those speeches. We lived at Tribhuvan University Professors' Quarter (residence) at Sundarighat, Chovar. I have a pleasant memory of a call by a lady who asked whether Shanti was available at the time. When I asked who was speaking in the usual manner, the caller said, "I am Bada Maharani" (Queen). I was somewhat nervous and could not believe it. Hurriedly, I said: "Salute, your Majesty" (Dandawat Sarkar) with the respected Nepali word to the Royalties and quickly handed the receiver to Shanti. After that, I was cautious in receiving the telephone call during that period. At that time, I remember how polite, lovely and kind Her Majesty Queen Aishwarya was in her speaking and dealing. She closely supervised and participated in the women's year program and actively showed interest in minor as well as significant matters. The multi-targetted programs in law, education, health, agriculture, culture and music, literature, etc., were made and implemented with good study and expert advice. The provisions of many national laws were amended to give necessary rights and facilities to women, including some changes in property rights. The law was made for transferring the parent's property to a daughter if the parents do not have a son as their heir apparent automatically, with many other laws beneficial to women. Before that, despite having a daughter, the parents' property was to go to the nephews in that circumstance. The maternity leave period was extended from 30 days to 45 days. Many necessary steps were taken in the education field to encourage and give more opportunities to girls to study - scholarships, opening girls' hostels, etc. The training programs for women as junior technicians in agriculture and midwife training in health were conducted, and women were made more efficient and capable of working in these fields. Hundreds of programs were implemented for woman's causes which were the memorable foundations of women's upliftment in Nepal. They also conducted many seminars, conferences, and publicity and broadcasting-oriented programs to create necessary awareness among Nepali people for women's equal opportunity in the country. One can read the details of its achievement in the chapter - Service to Women in Shanti Mishra's book, Voice of Truth - The Challenges and Struggles of a Nepalese Woman and the IWYCN 1975 Report given in Appendix III in the book. The King and Queen were so pleased to see her unparalleled dedication, efficiency, and achievement in women's welfare. At that time, many NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations) and INGO (International Non-Governmental Organizations) were running without an effective central administrative organization. There was also a rumor of misuse of the organizations against the country's interest and misuse of money for the group or personal interest. There was a need for a central supervising and facilitating office. After some time, Shanti was called again by the Palace to work on formulating the policy and programs for managing the social services more systematically with a particular central administration and supervising unit - service to needy, handicapped, sick, old, woman, children, blind, lame dumb, deaf, helpless, etc. under Jaach Booj Kendra, Rajdurbar (Investigation Center, Royal Palace). She worked for it with some other members and submitted a good plan, not intending to control but coordinate and facilitate the services. That was an excellent plan by any standard but later implemented differently to suit the members of the power circle. The present Office of the Social Service Coordination Committee was established under her plan.

Photo of the program of the International Women's Year Nepal, 1975, attended by King Birendra and Queen Aishwarya

Front row - 1. Punyaprabha Devi Dhungana, Chairwoman of IWYC, 2. King Birendra 3. Queen Aishwarya, Patron, IWCY, Shanti Mishra, Member Secretary, IWCY. 

Back row - women leaders and high government officials. (the other members of IWYC )

During her life, she did a lot in any field wherever she was in - teaching, education, library, women's service, social service, literature, journalism, diplomacy, etc. When she participated in the United Nations General Assembly in 1977 as the country's member delegate, Shailendra Kumar Upadhya, and Dr. Mohan Prasad Lohani were our country's representatives and deputy representatives to the UN. Representative Upadhyaya, ex-minister, was an active, dynamic, gregarious, and knowledgeable person who could easily recognize the person's caliber and had a culture of appreciating others' talents and extraordinary qualities, different from most Nepalese who quickly get jealous in this regard. He was so impressed by Shanti's active, influential participation and popularity among the international delegates and representatives in the UN. One day he told me about it when I met him after his return to Nepal, admiring Shanti, so different from many other Nepalese delegates who, in general, only stood there as the showpiece and statue - man or woman sitting idle without any activity as if the person was on vacation to enjoy the sightseeing. He knew and experienced it when he saw many of our delegates sent to the United Nations based on rewarding some relatives and friends without any knowledge of speaking and writing in English. We know and often see even now that the party puppets were sent to the United Nations as our delegates for rewarding and giving a chance someone to travel, not thinking of their meaningful participation for the country's benefit. We know even the ambassadors are appointed based on the relationship of near and dear, not on merit-based. Just recently, we witnessed it - the ambassadors appointed related to Madhav Kumar Nepal and Pampha Bhusal, according to the news report. Shanti was an active member of the editorial board of The Mirror Magazine, the woman's magazine of the United Nations Women's Organization, Nepal. Later on, she was even given honourary membership by that organization recognizing her dedicated active service and contribution to the magazine and social service with a ceremony. Considering her contribution to the journalism sector, she was also made their advisor by Sancharika Samuha (The Women Journalist Association). She served that organization for many years with that responsibility. These are some of the glimpses of her activities done for the country. There are many other activities to her credit. We see the memorial organizations under different names - research centers, academies, etc., established in the name of some people by their family members and the name of politicians by their followers in our country. But we generally do not see the people in the country even remember a nation server like her. That is the sad part of our culture and system. Even for that, you need money power, political power, or group power. Otherwise, you are lost in the vacuum. To my thinking, we should never forget those who served the nation with a pure heart being in a low or high position. Similarly, we should not forget those who loved and helped us in our need. Gratefulness is the ornament of an honest person. It is also the ornament of a civilized society. She started her professional library carrier as the Chief Librarian of Tribhuvan University Central Library on May 1, 1963 (B.S. 2020 Baishakh 18). She took retirement from the same position on Aug 17, 1992 (B.S. 2049 Bhadra 1). She had no opportunity to serve with the country's significant post - ambassador or any other high-ranking posts despite her experience, knowledge, efficiency, and dedication. She deserved them as several other her colleague professors who got that opportunity without much significant contribution. She was not involved in dirty politics and chakari (flattery). She had no nature of flattery. In his play ”Othello”, William Shakespeare wrote, "To be direct and honest is not safe”. But I should admit that Shanti was always direct and honest, however, the situation was complicated and cutting. Maybe because of that, she could not get favor or recognition from any power circle - the palace and the politicians. Though it was so, her nomination and appointment as the prestigious and valuable member-secretary of the International Women's Year Committee by King Birendra was undoubtedly the recognition and reward of her commendable library service in the country when there were many reputed Panchayat women leaders and activists like Angur Baba Joshi, Kamal Rana, and their active followers. That cannot be denied. However, it could have been done for the needs of the palace. This is the country where sycophancy and flattery are more recognized and rewarded than any other good qualities and merits. This is the country where patriots, nationalists, and nation servers are quickly forgotten. It is sad to think. My beloved Shanti passed away on May 15, 2019, the day of Mohini Yekadashi according to the Hindu lunar calendar, which falls on May 12, 2022 (2079 Baishakh 29) this year. It is completing three years of my life without her. I miss her every moment of my life and live with her memory with utmost sadness and grief. Her death turned my mind from the fertile land into the state of sand and stone where nothing grows -- desire, wish, joy or enjoyment. That is my life though it is challenging and harrowing. I do not fear my death, but it is tough to bear the death of my beloved wife. According to Bhagavad Gita, “Death is certain for one who has been born, and rebirth is inevitable for one who has died. Therefore, you should not lament over the inevitable”. According to William Shakespeare, the great English poet, “Moderate lamentation is the right of the dead, excessive grief the enemy to the living.” The following Sanskrit Sloka teaches us not to think and worry about past incidents and not to recollect past gone days. Because what is done cannot be undone. It brings nothing except worry. That is undoubtedly true. It is certainly good if you could follow the Sloka. But I think neither can you forget your loved one nor can you forget your pain. There is not an hour I have not thought of her. I feel the wound and pain of my grief will be buried only with my death. Grief and pain are like the black clouds in the sky that bring heavy rain and flood. You do not know when and how it comes. It appears in your hearts from time to time and brings sorrow and sadness to your face and tears to your eyes. When I suddenly remember my life without her from time to time, my heart beats rapidly with fear, and I feel uneasy and tremendously unwell. I tremble and shiver with fear and grief. I become lifeless. Even understanding the inevitable life of birth and death, unwisely, very often, I reach a terrible state of mind and condition with despair and sorrow that I blame, cuss and scream at the Creator of this universe for my sufferings. After some time, I realize my weakness and apologize for that. My heart is always full of grief and pain. Because of that, the severe feelings of sadness and agony come out of my mouth unconsciously from time to time when I talk to my friends and relatives. I realize later on that people might feel bad, and I should control my feelings while speaking. Then I try to discipline my mind to hide my sorrows. I do not know whether I am different from others or if all human beings feel and behave in the same way and manners in that situation and condition. I think that is your life when someone is born. That is the way Almighty God creates your heart. That is the way you are created. There is no way to escape until you have breath and life. I think that is an integral part of your life attached to love. But I am happy to see my beloved Shanti almost every day in my dream, and we are living and working together with joy and happiness, as usual, never seen as dead. I realize that is the grace of God. I pay my profound love to her and give her a bouquet of my love roses on this day. I hope and firmly believe in meeting her and being together again if there is undoubtedly a place where we all go after our life on this earth. I pray to God for her peace and comfort and the blessing of our meeting in our next life. narayanshanti70@gmail.com