Review of World Affairs

By Shashi P.B.B. Malla Himalayan Federal Democratic Republic: The Great Transformation of Loktantra into Loottantra! In less than 15 years our brilliant politicians have succeeded in transforming a functioning democracy or  “Loktantra” into “Loottantra”.  Shri Sher Bahadur Deuba, the “Tiger of Dadeldhura”, the prime minister appointed by the Supreme Court under the aegis of the Chief Justice has now finally managed to put together his cabinet [or as some wags would have it: the cabinet was put together for him!]. Everything is now in place for all the leaders and their political parties to start enjoying the spoils of office or “bhagbanda” in our precious Nepali language. The war chests of all the political parties are completely depleted, and they all need bounty and booty to contest the forthcoming [sham] general elections. We cannot expect the “leaders” to part with their ill-gotten gains which they have put aside for their future [with no public office], their children, their children’s children, and their children’s children’s children [and so forth ad nauseam]. These “leaders” have so perfected the art of corruption that they now deserve the title of “dons”, and they have so transformed the country that it can now be called “Mafia-Land” [or to put it more romantically: Mafia-Shangrila to distinguish ourselves from the genuine Shangrila or Land of the Thunder Dragon]. We now no longer have to travel to Italy or Amrika to learn the workings of well-oiled, organized crime. Also known as the Mob or La Cosa Nostra, the Mafia is an organized crime syndicate founded and run by Italian-Americans, most of whom can trace their ancestry back to the Italian island of Sicily. In Nepal, the Nepali Congress is very well-structured, like the typical Amrikan Mafia Family. At the top, is the Boss or Don, the [supposedly] undisputed leader of the organization. However, Don Deuba is nothing alone – a mere cypher – without Madame who pulls all the strings behind the scenes. She is the Consigliere, the trusted counselor, adviser and confidant to the Boss. As of now, it is not known whether ‘the family’ has an Underboss, a powerful second in command. Probably, Madame Don is also occupying this role, and preparing and grooming the son to one day take over the family business. At the next level is the Capo or ranking member of a family who leads a group with the specific assignment(s). A Capo is similar to a military captain who commands lower-ranking officers/soldiers. There are, of course, several Capos – akin to the departmental heads in the party organization. The members of the party department – at the next level –are akin to the soldiers of the Mafia crime family, the next to lowest members, but who still command respect as they do most of the grinding [dirty] work. At the lowest level are the Associates [in the Mafia family] or the card-carrying party members [in the political party], some of whom are members of the larger group and do most of the running around, especially on special occasions like party functions and elections. Of course, party members are not required to take an oath of silence or omertaas in the Mafia or commit a grave crime like murder. But they are expected to share a part of their ill-gotten gains with the party. Commensurate with their rank, party members also collect “donations” for the party from the general public, organizations and ‘captains of industry’, especially during election time, which will soon be upon us. There is so much corruption at every level that the Mafia family and the party organization can both be termed “corruption machines” To state the obvious, the major political parties are now the various Mafia families headed by the paterfamilias or Don, the all-in-all. In the case of the Nepali Congress, we have the de jure Don or Shri Deuba and the actual de facto Don or Madam Deuba who is the real power behind the throne. To understand this fact is to understand the phenomenon that is Deuba and the “phariyamuni koshasan” [in plain language: women power!].  As of now, we do not have the ‘Boss of all Bosses’ -- “Don of Dons” –the“capo di tutticapi”, but we do have aspiring candidates in the persons of Don Prachande of the Maoist Mafia family and Don Makune of the UML-Socialist Mafia family. Fortunately or unfortunately, Don Oily and his UML Mafia family are in steep decline. His henchmen or Mafiosi continue to be a nuisance and continue to disrupt the functioning of the already defunct parliament over which the country’s political elites and pundits are continuously shedding crocodile tears.  But give the devil his due. Don Oily unwittingly exposed the dilapidated state of the nation’s institutions. Thus, like in Amrika, the judiciary was previously “The Least Dangerous Branch”; now under the able guidance of His Serene Eminence, the Chief Justice Shri CholendraShumsher J.B.R. it has now blossomed into “The Most Dangerous Branch”. The doctrine of the separation of powers has been duly crushed. Don Deuba has admonished us: ‘No Nepali should dream of undermining loktantra’. Of course, this would be presumptive of us. After all, we have all our dons doing it for us. The writer can be reached at: shashipbmalla@hotmail.com